Our Tastes-- Black Fud and Black & Blue

Since I started getting ready for the Shamrock Run (placed 2nd in my age division, good time overall to be posted at http://www.auburnrunning.org in a few days) I haven't had any beer or stogies. Well I took care of that Saturday night until the wee hours of the morning. Guinness and anything never tasted so good. Black Fud (Guinness and FudPucker Pale Ale) not so great, but the Black and Blue (Guinness and Wicked Merry's Berry brew batch #18) was wicked sweet!! It had a soft light purplish head and Wicked Merry's just seemed to gently slide under the velvety Guinness. Kick ass sea-bass. Unfortunately this beer is not available at mass market as of yet. So let the weeks of Black and ANYTHING roll on!

Quittin' Pharmacy School (not)

But after today's big haul, I'm certainly thinking about it. Ok so these fisherman caught this squid by accident hauling in some Patagonian toothfish off the coast of Antarctica, big deal. Well to put this example of the Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni species into proper perspective it weighs approx. 990 lbs, is 39 feet long and could swallow a man's head whole no problem through its beak. All I'm saying is that on the weekends I was a "doctor" to the little girl that lived at the corner, but throughout the week I was the consummate motorcyle-riding policeman/fighter pilot/marine biologist. I'd go back to school (again) if I knew I'd catch one of these things, but here's the real question.... considering calamari rings come from the trunk and this one would have appetizers the size of tractor tires....(wait for it).... how much beer would it take to batter this bad boy?

May the Mojo Be With You

Lately I have noticed that things seem to be slightly off in my life, then again it could be that I just need to brew some beer or perhaps start kegging. No, it unfortunately is worse than that. Today I saw a friend and mentor that I had given a baculum or oosik to in order to give him good mojo for the rest of his days. Specifically, I gave him a coon dick. Now I must rectify what I told him in that many mammals have bones for the male reproductive organ; however, the raccoon has the largest per animal (same size as a black bear) even though the whale and seal oosiks are the size of the human forearm. I realized when I got out to the car that the Texas toothpick I usually kept in my ashtray was in fact in my other car!! For the last few months, I've been mojo-less except for when I had one in the car to give him. Thinking back, I met the bridesmaid, made it through his hellish rotation and came across some of the best beer in the world! Coincidence, I think not. Now as the power begins to wane like the sun's light at setting, life has become mediocre at best. Even the ole dating life has slowed. Now it's no secret that these wonderful items rank right up there with john the conquerer root and black cat bone when placed between the boxsprings and mattress in producing "man babies". Sarah Jessica Parker wore a set of these earrings during a photo shoot and Mick Jagger has a few (look at how long he's lasted). I sense some disbelief and even though I would love to give the world great mojo some of you are just going to have to buy your own .

"Why the hell you lookin' at my privates??!!"

Our Tastes-- Samuel Adams Honey Porter

Well I can't drink any after this due to tapering for the Shamrock Run so I might as well blog about it. This past weekend BugMan and I were able to partake of the latest Samuel Adams "Beer Lover's Choice" beer the Honey Porter. This beer is truly a work of art. For a porter the first thing you notice is the black-brown beautiful color. It has a light thick head but the taste and aroma are awesome. A great smoked honey aroma with a slightly sweet hoppy flavor profile probably from the roasted malt. Brewed with Spalt Spalter and UK Fuggles then dry-hopped (hopped after fermentation) with East Kent Goldings. The honey used is a Scottish heather honey grown on the moors. Even though this is the second "Beer of the People", it's actually a slight twist on an older Sam's recipe from the late 1990's. All in life is cyclical even beer. Because is it new, this brew is only available in the mixed sixer or mixed 12-pack, the Nut Brown Ale (last year's winner) gets a regular rotation in its own half cases and 6-packs. Five types of malt including 2-row Metcalfe and Harrington, Munich, Caramel and Weyermann Carafa went into this beer. All of this sweet malt is complimented by the honey. Some characteristics are: 192kcal/12oz and 5.45%abv.

Our Tastes-- Moylan's Kilt Lifter Scottish Ale

And another great beer is Moylan's Kilt Lifter Scottish Ale. BugMan scored a dos dos of this brew and for my first scottish ale it was different. We were able to pour 2 glasses, the first was a nice ruby then we swirled the yeast bed and it gave it a light reddish-brown tint. The cool part of this beer is it said to refrigerate upon receipt because the yeast were still fermenting (must use lager yeast). Considered a wee heavy it had a definite aroma of charred bourbon barrels. The aftertaste had a bitterness that "hit" the sides of the tongue. It has won several GABF medals and is worth the shilling. Some characteristics: 7 different types of grain (American 2-row, Crystal malt 77L and 120L, Durst Vienna, Munich, Special B, Acidulated), one hop only East Kent Goldings, 25 IBUs, OG= 1.080 to give an 8% abv!!. It also says to allow it to warm slightly before tasting?

Happy S.A.D.

Singles Awareness Day as I've renamed it. This day is purely a ploy by greeting card companies to shower your cutie pie with better gifts than those of her co-workers, but did you ever think about how you got yourself into this predicament? For fodder around the ole kegerator I propose this scenario. Rate this situation on a scale of blech to yum-- a Nattie Lite with too much head and green food coloring used to create a clover in the foam (worst) and the perfect stout with a half and half shot of Bailey's and the finest Irish whiskey you can find to create the perfect carbomb (best). What's the worst feeling:
A. Being into a girl and ordering flowers on Saturday afternoon for today (no roses!! just cute attention getting flowers that every nice girl deserves) then having her blow you off totally OR B. Having to actually make that phone call to the florist (that knew one of her bosses) on Monday morning telling her you made a big mistake and can she please cancel your order? Uh, yeah I'll take 2 Nattie's in SOLO cups to go! Well, maybe by the time Easter rolls around she'll be more of a chocolate bunny kind of girl.

1st Date Advice From The Master

When being "set up" to meet a girl blindly for the first time after a wedding when the wedding party gets together at an unspecified BrewPub,
1. DO NOT under any circumstances do the ole "hand in the air and finger over the lips" maneuver like you did in elementary school to quiet the bar no matter how much 2 of her friends are egging you on from the back of the bar to do it. (It did however win me kudos and quieted the bar as they probably thought I was going to buy a round, but then simply ordered my own beer. All it did to her was embarrass her:(
2. DO NOT sit next to the drunk in the cowboy hat at the bar because you think he has now gotten quiet, he will simply lean over and tell you what time it is (email me for an explanation)
3. Two pink roses are nice, but die more quickly when when the girl doesn't even own a vase.
4. DO NOT ask your date if she enjoyed playing pattycakes in the water of the "weird" sink in the bathroom like you did when she gets back to the table.
5. DO NOT try new food trying to impress her with your ability of open-mindedness, tomatoes made you gag when you were little and they still do even though they are "dressed" pretty and she notices your screwed up face quickly. (goes double for those damn orange tomatoes)
6. DO NOT pull a Fred Astaire on the wine aisle at Bruno's, she may not like you being that close and simply tolerate you as she looks for the Fat Bastard Sauvignon Blanc.
7. Holding hands is OK, but her catching you looking at her "dumps" in the reflection of the tv may only remind her that you did it previously at the unspecified BrewPub it doesn't matter how nice you think they are (see #'s 1&2)
8. Let it slide if she drops the "F-bomb" while you are looking at her cute little ears. (apparently the right one has a trigger on it that you pulled)
9. Let it slide if she says, "If you wanna kiss me goodnight just do it." (afterall that's Nike's slogan and you are a runner at heart)
10. Above all else, DO NOT pat her on the butt like she is your shortstop and tell her "nice effort". (if she ever pats you back then and only then can you guys turn double plays)