When being "set up" to meet a girl blindly for the first time after a wedding when the wedding party gets together at an unspecified BrewPub,
1. DO NOT under any circumstances do the ole "hand in the air and finger over the lips" maneuver like you did in elementary school to quiet the bar no matter how much 2 of her friends are egging you on from the back of the bar to do it. (It did however win me kudos and quieted the bar as they probably thought I was going to buy a round, but then simply ordered my own beer. All it did to her was embarrass her:(
2. DO NOT sit next to the drunk in the cowboy hat at the bar because you think he has now gotten quiet, he will simply lean over and tell you what time it is (email me for an explanation)
3. Two pink roses are nice, but die more quickly when when the girl doesn't even own a vase.
4. DO NOT ask your date if she enjoyed playing pattycakes in the water of the "weird" sink in the bathroom like you did when she gets back to the table.
5. DO NOT try new food trying to impress her with your ability of open-mindedness, tomatoes made you gag when you were little and they still do even though they are "dressed" pretty and she notices your screwed up face quickly. (goes double for those damn orange tomatoes)
6. DO NOT pull a Fred Astaire on the wine aisle at Bruno's, she may not like you being that close and simply tolerate you as she looks for the Fat Bastard Sauvignon Blanc.
7. Holding hands is OK, but her catching you looking at her "dumps" in the reflection of the tv may only remind her that you did it previously at the unspecified BrewPub it doesn't matter how nice you think they are (see #'s 1&2)
8. Let it slide if she drops the "F-bomb" while you are looking at her cute little ears. (apparently the right one has a trigger on it that you pulled)
9. Let it slide if she says, "If you wanna kiss me goodnight just do it." (afterall that's Nike's slogan and you are a runner at heart)
10. Above all else, DO NOT pat her on the butt like she is your shortstop and tell her "nice effort". (if she ever pats you back then and only then can you guys turn double plays)
